I'm not ADHD - I have ADHD

In middle school, I won the superlative "most talkative" in the yearbook and all my report cards in both elementary and middle school always had some comment about how chatty I was in class. In high school, I struggled with test taking and classes that involved a lot of memorization like foreign languages and history. The SAT was a nightmare for me and I still have stressful dreams about it as an adult. In college, I spent almost two years trying to succeed as a Chemistry major but due to the heavy memorization and difficulty of the material, I struggled to comprehend and keep up with my classmates. I even pushed myself to attend summer school to complete Calculus 2 so I wouldn't fall even more behind. In the "corporate world", I have always been drawn to fast-paced companies, where I can juggle several different projects at once. I thrive in "startup" environments because I am encouraged to help build new processes which allow me to use my strategic thinking and creativity. When I was diagnosed with PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder), ADHD came up a lot. Women who tend to have PMDD, a lot of the time also have ADHD. I spent several months researching and reading about ADHD because previously when I heard, ADHD I immediately thought of hyperactive, can't sit still, non-stop talking like symptoms BUT it turns out there are 3 different types of ADHD! After doing my extensive research, I ended up meeting with an ADHD-specialized psychiatrist and was diagnosed. I have felt crazy and lazy so much of my life that it turns out it was just my brain doing what it knows best. I have been reflecting a lot lately on what this diagnosis means to me and I think my biggest takeaway has been that the younger me deserves a HUGE hug!! I think back to all those Spanish and French tests that I had to bring home to get signed because of my poor grades that gave me extreme anxiety. All the teachers that pulled me aside and asked if I proofread my papers before turning them in due to the number of careless errors and spelling mistakes, when I know I had spent hours re-reading them. The fears of rejection I had ended up leading me to remain in unhealthy relationships and friendships for way too long. My difficult relationship with food and how I have used food to create dopamine in my brain for so much of my life and assumed I just lacked "self-control". The list goes on but present-day me knows so much about myself that I wish the younger me knew. I am practicing forgiveness and compassion to the younger me while learning how to use this diagnosis as a strength. I am thankful that I am in a job that allows me to be creative, strategic, and is constantly exciting! I am also so grateful for my manager, Shannon who is so great at helping me prioritize 3 main projects a week. This is the first time in my career that I end and start my weeks feeling productive. Lastly, I am excited! This month, I enrolled in a 30-day ADHD coaching program led by, Leanne Maskell to help empower me on this new diagnosis and I am currently coaching three women who all have ADHD as well. While I already felt so connected to these incredible women, I now feel connected on a deeper level and cannot wait to leverage my learnings from this course to help me be a better coach to them as well as future clients!

snapshot of yesterday's ADHD coaching lesson with Leanne that had me screaming YES!!!! You have two choices when it comes to a diagnosis (as someone who has been diagnosed quite a bit this year) you can allow yourself to "become" that diagnosis OR you can use it to empower you. For me, I will always choose empowerment. I am not ADHD. I have ADHD and can't wait to use it as my new "superpower"!